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COMMUNITY CONNECTION
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Product Spotlight | ||
 Mixed Emotions |
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Survivor Portrait |
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Question & Answer | ||
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What is defined as text harrassment? The law will vary from state to state, but in California a single text message is enough to meet the definition of textual harassment if the texter threatens physical harm or is obscene. If the text does not fall into either of these categories, the messages must be repeated to be considered textual harassment. Intent is another requirement included in most textual harassment definitions. The law generally requires that the harasser intend the messages to be viewed as harassment. Because of the need to prove intent, you should tell the harasser that you do not want to speak to the person and to stop texting. If the harasser persists after this clear message, it will be easier to prove that the intent was to harass. What do you want to know? |
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We shall draw from the heart of suffering itself the means of inspiration and survival.
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Vol1. No.2
Newsletter Table of Contents
- Survivor Story: Bobbi Sudberry's parent point of view
- Who's Who: Kaity's Way and Beauty Brands
- Knowledge Columns: From cradle to grave and around the world
- Online Picks: Video, cool website, and free stuff
- Resources: Medical, education, legal, inspiration and more
Welcome to your Bravery Project Community Connection Newsletter. Every quarter we will bring you new information right to your email inbox.
Teen dating violence is escalating. According to the CDC's 2007 study, 9.9% of teens experience intentional physical abuse from a boy or girlfriend. That means if your high school has 5,000 students, then almost 500 teens in that school experience being hit, slapped, or physically hurt on purpose, not to mention verbal and controlling behavior.
Yet for some strange reason, parents are unaware that thier children are doing or experiencing this behavior. Part of the issue comes from hiding or masking the problem behind euphamisms like "bullying" or claiming that "our school" or "our child" doesn't have this problem. Some parents believe that codependent behavior is "puppy love" and that kids are resilient enough to muddle through the relationship and come out fine. With the climbing numbers of domestic violence in adult relationships, avoidance strategies are obviously not working.
We want teens to go to school to learn important stuff like math, reading, writing, etc., and we don't want to spend our tax dollars on educating them on moral behavior, yet parents either do not teach them the important life skills they need to be safe, healthy, and successful as adults or do not know about risky behavior and how to find information to share. For this reason, we see programs like sex education and bullying campaigns in our schools because the kids are having potentially life threatening experiences regardless.
In our survivor story about a teen death, the parents did everything they possibly could to protect thier daughter, including working with the school. However, they, like most parents did not truly understand domestic violence and it's lethal consequences because there is so little awareness about the issue. Kudos to Bobbi and Rick Sudberry for being the example of hope and action for all parents who care enough to learn and protect thier children.
One of the greatest gifts that we can give each other is our story; our stories of overcoming, growing, learning and living. Bobbi shares her experience as a mother of a teen lost to dating violence.
Briefly describe your survivor story about Kaity?
Raised in a loving and blessed home, Kaity had a willingness to share the love she knew, which extended to a young man she began dating December 2006. He was polite, respectful and caring towards Kaity. She grew to care deeply for him and experienced her first love beyond the family.
About six months into the relationship he began to change. He became rude and inconsiderate at times, but apologetic when Kaity would stand her ground. He exhibited possessive and jealous behavior. If Kaity was away, he would constantly call or text her on her phone. If she was unable to answer, he made accusations that she was lying or cheating on him. If she went away to visit family he was crazed out of his mind about where she was and who she was with. Kaity patiently tried to understand his insecurities and short comings and forgave him. Nonetheless, his behavior escalated.
After several months of enduring this behavior, with the support of her family and friends, Kaity came to realize although she loved him, she could not help him and ended the relationship in late December 2007.
In mid January 2008 this young man assaulted Kaity on two separate occasions at school. He was suspended the first time and expelled the second time. Both times a police report was filed. In this young man's mind, it was Kaitys fault that he was expelled. Unfortunately, his erratic behavior continued to escalate and he harassed her by phone continuously. He then threatened to kill Kaity and himself.
On January 28, 2008 as Kaity was on her way home from school he took her from in front of her house to one house away, took a shot gun from his duffle bag and killed her. He then turned the gun on himself and committed suicide.
What resources were available at the time you were dealing with the situation?
At the time we were unaware of any resources available. We tried so hard to deal with this circumstance as a family united. We had no idea how prevalent teen dating violence was. We didn’t even know there was a name for it. All we knew is our daughter was being harassed and we were there for her.
How are you a different person today?
We are more thoughtful and giving. We are also very determined to see an end to teen dating violence. We realize that life is too short to carry on about things that really don’t matter. We don’t sweat the small stuff. We try to make the best of every day and be thankful for our blessings.
What are you doing now in your life?
Besides working and enjoying our family, we have formed Kaity’s Way, a non profit tax exempt corporation with a mission to promote understanding and educate the community to lessen the instance of violence among or against children through P.E.A.C.E. (Patience, Empathy, Acceptance, Caring, Equality).
On a personal level we have worked with legislatures and the AZCADV to pass Kaity’s Law September 30, 2009. We are also currently working with legislatures to pass into law the need for education and policy regarding Dating Abuse.
What advice would you tell people about a victim who is still suffering?
To a victim we would say: You are not to blame for action of another. Please talk with an adult about the situation and come up with a safety plan.
To someone that wants to help a victim, we would say: Listen, listen, listen and be aware of your body language. When a victim confides in someone they are trusting that person will not judge or ridicule them.
To both we would say: Visit www.kaitysway.org.
A Nonprofit Making a Difference – Kaity's Way founded by Bobbi and Rick Sudberry
What service or product does your nonprofit provide?
We tell Kaity’s Story to any group or organization that requests to hear it in an effort to bring awareness to Teen Dating Violence. We believe that hearing Kaity’s Story can benefit teenagers and pre-teens as well as anyone that has a teenager or pre-teen in their life.
We also distribute brochures that provide information about the warning signs of a potentially violent or violent relationship along with suggestions for a safety plan. It also defines relationships as well as violence.
Our website, www.kaitysway.org,includes the information in the brochure, but also goes into more detail for the victim as well as how someone can help a victim or suspected victim. There is a current events page that also keeps people in the know as far as what events are taking place. In addition, we table at various events to hand out brochures and literature about Teen Dating Violence and send out a monthly newsletter.
There is no charge for any service we provide. We operate solely on public donations and all time is volunteered.
When and why did you start it?
We began talking about developing Kaity’s Way April 2008 as we had decided to create a brochure to help others realize the warning signs of a violent relationship and ideas for a safety plan. Kaity’s Way was incorporated September 2008 and became tax exempt March 2009.
We started Kaity’s Way in honor of our daughter Kaitlyn Marie Sudberry. She lived by the attributes of P.E.A.C.E.. Therefore, we made a decision to turn our tragedy into a positive for others. We believe Kaity would have wanted us to do this and smiles upon us everyday for what we are doing.
To date, what results has your nonprofit provided the community?
We believe everytime we tell Kaity’s Story, we increase the awareness of Teen Dating Violence ten fold. As a majority of our listeners state they would tell Kaity’s Story to someone they believe is in a violent relationship. On several occasions we have received feedback that a listener had realized the relationship they are in as potentially violent.
How can people get involved with your nonprofit?
It’s easy, they can email us at kw08@kaitysway.org or call us at (602) 740-2734. This information is also on our website www.kaitysway.org. We also accept donations through our website.
______________________________________-A Caring Company - Beauty Brands Interview with Marketing Director Beth Book Seiler
What service or product does your company provide?
Beauty Brands combines the services of a salon and spa with a retail superstores. This gives customers the opportunity to experience the benefits of a salon and spa, while still being able to buy the products they love.
When and how did Beauty Brands begin?
Before Beauty Brands was founded in 1995 there were no other stores that had adopted this concept of combining beauty treatments with a full service store. It was important for us to give customers an environment where they felt comfortable enough to get a hair cut or manicure, and shop for products that they trusted as well.
How does Beauty Brands support domestic violence causes?
In 2001 Beauty Brands founded the REDUCE ABUSE program, which provides funding to local domestic violence shelters in the markets where Beauty Brands does business. To date, Beauty Brands has donated more than $360,000 to numerous shelters in 11 states.
How can people get in contact with Beauty Brands?
Through our website, beautybrands.com or by calling our toll free number,
1-888-725-6608
Victims of Domestic Violence to Receive Helping Hand from Beauty Brands
From cradle to grave and around the world. Learn...share...respond.
- VIDEO PICK: Can we get more people to choose the stairs by making it fun to do? Take a look at this really cool human experiment in "Piano Stairs: The Fun Theory"
- WEBSITE PICK:Track your government representatives the way you track your favorite celebrities (it's probably more important). Legistalker provides a way to keep tabs on politicians in the media and on YouTube and Twitter. legistalker.org
- COOL FREEBIE you can use: John Frieda is a industry leader in hair care. Take advantage of thier Luxurious Volume Giveaway with samples of thier Luxurious Volume Full Splender Shampoo and Conditioner.johnfrieda.com
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